Another Pair Of Eyes

Copycat

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Was academically insufficient, although I still passed. This has hopefully been rectified.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Mine last year were a bit vague, but on the whole I managed to stick to them. There were a few blips along the way: not a perfect record.

3. Did someone close to you give birth?
No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not anyone close to me, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
Greenland (and on the way there, Iceland, although I’m not sure that counts!) and Wales.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Knowledge in ridiculous quantities, and more than that, a good mark out of my intermediates. And a decent research project!

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
2nd of November, because that’s when I went for drinks with someone for the first time. Sadly eclipsed now, and not by human choice on either side.

8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
Probably an A and 90% for psychiatry earlier this year.

9. What was your biggest failure(s)?
Exams at the end of last year. Not good.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Broken hand, broken toe. Former a DRI, the latter a corridor-football injury…

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Bacon and chipolatas for the christmas meal we cooked, which turned out to be one of the best nights of the year.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
No-one bar my own on occasion.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Aside from the obvious living costs, I suspect!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Growing stuff, and moreso than ever, medicine.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or Sadder? Happier. I’m actually doing medicine now, actually achieving stuff, learning stuff, and it’s useful and it’s fantastic.

ii. Thinner or fatter? About the same according to the scales in the gym, but I feel fatter…

iii. Richer or Poorer? Poorer. Overdraft win.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Work! But really…not a lot.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
No idea…procrastination? Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could actually concentrate whenever you wanted to?

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
That’s a year away, but I’d imagine en famille. Christmas dinner etc. Hopefully bring someone back this christmas, but who knows.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?

No, but I’d've liked to.
23. How many one-night stands?
More than none.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Spooks! and now that it’s finished…Hustle!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t hate anyone, really. Hate it too strong a word.

26. What was the best book you read?
No idea, I only tend to read textbooks now and don’t often read for pleasure, but I enjoyed The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, even though it was basically extremely light reading. The Eyre Affair is always a good one as well.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I don’t think I made any myself, but possibly Caesars’ Paper Tigers? Uplifting music.

28. What did you want and get?
What does anyone want? Romance, wealth, power, knowledge…well I got a brief stint of 1 and quite a bit of the last, but not much else. And 3rd one is overrated.

29. What did you want and not get?
The ability to shoot fire out of my hands?

30. Favourite film of this year?
Probably Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. (watch it)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
22, and I felt old! Had a joint party in the week with my housemate, and had a meal con mis padres.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being able to shoot fire out of my hands.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Fashion concept? Me? All I wear now is smart clothes, and whenever I’m not wearing shirts I’m trying to wear the most relaxing clothes I can find. Which generally means dressing gown and slippers over whatever I was wearing before. Concept: ‘old man’

34. What kept you sane?
Focus, and galaxy cake bars (on offer at 76p for 5…see 17 (ii))

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
What’s-her-face from the time travellers wife. Rachel someone? Clearly not the biggest impression ever though.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Politics just stirs me to anger these days. Dishonesty pisses me right off, people should just say it straight and deal with it rather than spinning everything. And stop fucking with the NHS, while you’re parading around meeting targets and ‘streamlining spending’ people are dying.

37. Who do you miss?

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Take a guess.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Sit back, be patient, don’t screw up.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I’ll just quote a song.

Secrets

Watch this, then read. Or just read, but it won’t make much sense.

I wasn’t sure that there was a lot to this video, with the exception of the section from about 3:30 to 4:12. I was going to say more, but I don’t think there’s anything I want to add.

Truth

This is so true.

For me, at least.

Comments

I like to have comments on my blog, and when I feel it is necessary I like to comment on other people’s entries as well. It reduces the feeling of talking into the aether, and it lets you discuss things and consider things and read other people’s ideas on what you have written. These are collectively good things, and as such I have no restrictions as to who may comment on my blog. Spam gets dead, the rest anyone of any place can scribble what they wish at the bottom of every entry.

As such, it annoys me when I cannot comment on somebody’s blog because I don’t have a Blogger account, or a Google account, or whatever – I don’t use blogger and don’t need a google account so I see no need for me to sign up to yet another thing just to express my thoughts on something. Ironically, I also can’t comment to tell people to loosen up their comment restrictions, so all I end up doing is leaving: unsatisfactory for me and the person whose blog it is has no idea I was ever there, let alone that I agreed with them and think they are writing well or similar. I know it feels like a good idea when you check that box, making you more secure or private or in control, but all you do is stop people who don’t belong to your blog service from speaking.

As such, here is an idea – everyone stop limiting who can comment on their blogs. Just install a spam filter and all will be well. Who are you trying to avoid who is avoidable simply by not letting them comment before they sign up to a blogging service they don’t use? If people are desperate to malign you they will do so anyway, and meanwhile voices like mine are lost by the wayside.

Think before you block.

999

I was perusing Facebook, as I seem to spend so much time doing, when I stumbled across this posted on a profile of a good friend of mine. It’s transcripts, and in some cases the recordings, of 999 calls made in a variety of  situations. I found the transcripts engaging enough, but the recordings really convey desparation and panic to the extent that they were harrowing to listen to.

I could talk about all sorts of things to do with this but I’ll only note that although all of these end well, there will be cases where the people don’t survive and that knowledge comes through on the line. I can’t imagine what that would be like.

Story

As you might or might not know, this week has been All About Revision. And there is a lot of it, too: 10 weeks of neuro and 4 of GI and combined you’ve got the ingredients for a world of fun and games.* Hence why I’m here today, writing this rather than revising general anaesthetics. Hmmm.

Either way, the other day in a lecture I heard a story about a man who found he was getting depressed about his lack of success with women. This was regarding the ABC model of depression: Activating element (in this case, his lack of success with women) Belief (he believed that he was unlovable and would always be rejected) and Cause (his belief that he was unlovable and would always be rejected). Point was, a lot of people go directly from A to C, without acknowledging that there is a B in the middle which is the root of the problem – this is one of the things that CBT aims to address (which is what the lecture was about). In recognising this, he had something of a eureka moment and decided to go out into Central Park and ask 100 female passers-by if they’d like to go for dinner, and to hell with the consequences if they rejected him – it wouldn’t matter. The 87th lady he asked said yes and his depression was averted by his realisation that it was his belief causing the issue.

Simplified? Certainly. Harder than it sounds? Equally certain. Element of truth applicable to many? Lecturers tell me that evidence backs it up, although I’ve not gone and looked for myself for want of time.

Either way it goes, I think it’s a lovely story. Even if they didn’t get married. Life isn’t THAT perfect.**

I’ll get back to revision now.

*fun and games like not sleeping at night because you can’t switch off, not eating properly because you can’t be bothered to cook, no friends about, no love no joy and no escape because every minute you spend doing something else is a minute you later mentally berate yourself for skipping.

**Apparently if the continuing trend for being about as single as it is possible to be continues in our house until the last week of the year, we have to all go out to the common and ask out 100 women. Could turn interesting!

Defeat

It’s a tough thing to admit defeat. To accept that there are things you cannot or will not manage, things which are too hard for you to do, things upon which you pinned hope and happiness crashing down before you in a cloud of dust and shattered scaffolding. It can be especially hard to admit this insufficiency to others, who you invariably feel you are letting down more than you are letting down yourself.

As such, I have a great deal of respect for people who try things, and even if they subsequently fail at them are not afraid to admit it, explain it, and move on. It is people like this who remind me that we always have to try, regardless of the fear of failure or of personal rebuke by others, because to not try at all will always be a let down.

Today I was humbled by the willingness of others to admit defeat, even on a public forum. Colour me impressed (more so than I was before!).